Man its hard to keep coming up with ING headings! So i'm trying to write this without being AGGRAVATING (wait, thats what this should be called .. . changing heading . . )
Ok. So, to make a long story short, I was an athlete most of my life. Ok, well I was an athlete the first half of my life. Then I wasnt. And for 20 years I really didn't do any sort of exercise. I had three kids. I ate like a beast for three pregnancies. And my weight went up and down, up and down and after all three kids I settled in at a weight marginally above my HS weight. I wasnt thrilled but all things considered I didnt have much to bitch about. Then I got divorced when my kids were little and I lost a ton of weight. and life was good. except for the poverty and stress and panic attacks. but i digress.
Then I discovered craft beer and for four years my partner and I drank a ton of it. Tons and tons and tons of exploring, road trips, the quests for the best beers. Well you know what happens when you are pushing 40 and drink lots of really good beer and have almost no form of exercise?
You put on 25 lbs and wake up one day and go WTF?!
Well then I had this break up and my sister was fearful I might fall down the well and not be able to climb back out, so one night after a few vodka cocktails she offers to pay for 6 weeks with her and Mariah and their personal trainer.
So for the first time in a long long long time, I went to a gym and let someone abuse the hell out of me, in a totally constructive way.
And it was HARD. And i didnt like it at all. Because i was slow and thought i might die. But I was pretty sad and angry about the break up so i pushed myself. And i went for 6 weeks and then my free ride ran out and i quit.
Well, Jason (the owner of catalyst) convinced me to come back. And the thought of skinny as revenge was pretty appealing so back i went.
Well that was 8 months ago. I've not gone every week. Sometimes work gets in the way. I wouldnt say that i'm dying to get to the gym. I dont think i'll ever be one of those people who gets all excited to have someone make them want to puke. But i do enjoy it. Its an AMAZING stress relief. When i feel moody and blue and depressed, exercise actually HELPS with that.
I've not lost the 20lbs i went in to lose. In fact, after 8 months I have lost 1lb. 1. Now that might sound like maybe its not working. but it is. I'm building muscle that i havent had in a long, long time. I'm not pushing 40 anymore. I'm 42. What a difference a few years makes. I can see the changes in my legs, when I wear heels I see the definition in my calves that hasnt been there for a long time. I can see it in my face, I'm starting to see cheek bones again. Small changes, slow changes. But changes.
I feel stronger. my back feels 1000x better than it has in years. The trainers work with me every single time on stretching. One of my major issues is that as a former gymnast, I've let my muscles completely tighten up (my phrasing). I have very little flexibility. They work with me on that.
But the main benefit, right now, is walking in that door, knowing I'm doing something positive. I'm getting stronger. I'm being pushed to the max of my limits. TO THE MAX. And I give 110% every single time. And leave with my head up knowing that while I may not look like the buff girls in the gym, I still kicked ass.
Revenge no longer matters, and really it would never have mattered to him anyway. This is about me and how I feel. And as long as i feel good. I'm happy.
I know a LOT of my friends right now are hitting the gym. Either at Catalyst or other places. I know friends who start and stop. Ones who yoga and ones who Zumba. Everyone has a different reason and i think all of us at some point get discouraged. I have found that having a time slot with my sister and Mariah has helped me tremendously. I'm less likely to call off unless work demands it. I push myself harder because we are all type A competitive people and no one wants to wuss out. I always in the past felt like i didnt have the time. That was my number one excuse, which with my life then, it was really hard to work in. But once you work it in, you find its totally do able.
I wanted to share this because I know how easy it is to get discouraged if you have set a goal and its taking longer than you would like to see results. There have been several times I've thought "screw it, i'm 40. This is how I look". Then i notice how my back feels if i miss a gym day. And i realize how important this is to my over all health, physical and mental.
So yeah, I just booked a time slot for 7:30 am on a SATURDAY MORNING. Voluntarily.
If i can do this. You can do this. (oh hell, most of you are, I think I'm late to the party).
So thanks to all of my FB friends who have been out there this last year or so, posting about their accomplishments and challenges with exercise and changes in eating habits and all of the positive things you all have been doing. I may not always comment, but it has really helped keep me motivated.
Mostly I just dont want my sister calling me a wuss.