Tuesday, October 23, 2012

12 reasons

A helpful guide to identify if you. or someone you know. is an asshole about beer.

When your best friend raves about her new favorite beer, Summer Shanty, and you roll your eyes. You might be an asshole about beer.

 When you ask the waiter to see the craft beer list, and the highlights are: Blue Moon, Shock Top, Sam Adams and a token Bells, and you roll your eyes.  You might be an asshole about beer. (note Bells is awesome, but come on, pathetic!)

 When you know what year your favorite craft or import was bought out by big beer, and now refuse to drink beer from those sell outs, . . you might be an asshole about beer.

You freak out when the bartender brings you a frosted glass for anything other than a Farmhouse ale, (just kidding, you NEVER drink craft beer, even a farmhouse ale,  out of a frosted glass! - god im such an asshole about beer!)

 If you have more than 3. Ok 4. Ok 8 types of beer glasses and use them all. Guess what? yep. (if you just realized as you typed this that some people might not realize that different TYPES of beers go in different TYPES of glasses and that this is IMPORTANT INFORMATION -oh god. I'm such an asshole)

 If you "let" someone drink one of your good beers, and they try to drink it out of the bottle instead of the proper glass, at the proper temperature and you scream "you are desecrating the BEER!"  Well you might be crazy. But if you have a silent panic attack. You are an asshole about beer.

If you are really digging a guy, and still rip his favorite beer, not only are you an asshole about beer, but you should probably buy a bigger box of batteries.

If you have the Find Craft Beer app and plan your trips, hotels and restaurants around it when you travel, you are an asshole about beer.

 If you know absolutely, that you could never date a guy who calls Budweiser his favorite beer . .  well thats just good sense.

 If you are a total beer snob but can still justify drinking high-life. Well you're an asshole about beer and a hypocrite.

If you are writing this blog... Well yes, I'm an asshole about beer.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

did it my damn self. almost. sorta. v2.

plumbing is hard. the end.

(seriously, i learned a LOT. and dishwashers really are easy to replace. so let me know if you want info about either). 

Monday, October 8, 2012

did it my damn self.

I may start a separate blog for just my home improvement projects. Until then i'll leave them here. So, in January I made a list of everything I wanted to do to the house. It was pretty long. With living in two houses for 4.5 years, mostly at the other house, I had let a lot of things go. There was also a bit of . .  lets say resentment, about the fact that there were things broken, that my super handy can fix anything bf, never quite got around to. (and because I know he sometimes reads my blog, yes, thank you for all of the things you did fix. I do appreciate it . .) That being said. Some things were long neglected. So I started on the easy stuff. Mostly painting. I like to paint and I get bored so I do paint a lot. Then I moved on to things that i perceived to be slightly intimidating. Or heavy labor. I put in the garden. I hung some lattice. Replaced a broken lock on the door. Little things. Then one day I'm dorking around with this new mirror for above the mantle and I broke the ONE sconce that worked. When i moved in there were two. The first one broke about a year after I moved in. I covered it up with a picture and a plant. There was no way I was going to deal with electricity. Well it never got fixed and when I broke the other one I decided I better figure this out. So I found some sconces on lighting direct.com. I had been looking for years for something I liked, that wasnt pricey.  For a cheap bitch I have expensive tastes! I finally found some that were $31.00 a piece, with free shipping. whoot! (yes, I do normally implore you to shop local, but I found NOTHING local that I liked in my price range) 

So one evening when the kids were home I decided to give this a try. Now. I have plaster walls. plaster is a bitch. I knew I had to go into this project with some patience. And measure a lot. I had to obviously use the existing wires coming out of the wall. But i also needed the sconces to be a certain distance apart so i could fit my bitchin new mirror between them. I had my directions and the first issue was there was no handy electrical box like you would find in a new home. There were simply two wires hanging straight out of the wall. whoot!

 First I had to flip the breaker, which was not labeled correctly. This entailed me standing in the basement flipping breakers and having Harrison yell NOPE NOPE NOPE and me yelling ARE THEY OFF? ARE THEY OFF? ARE THEY OFF?, it was fun. really. Once we were reasonably sure there was no electricity to the wires (i do have this meter thingy that the ex left for me, i did use that to see if there was juice), I was ready to start. I measured about 18 times. Because I suck at measuring. And got the new brackets attached to the wall. I only ended up with one small chunk of plaster in my eye which i deem a success. Now it was time to wire the new lights in. This is super easy. You just grab two wires that are the same color and twist them together in one of those little plastic cone things. The problem is electricity really does terrify me (i wonder how many times i stuck something into a light socket as a kid? too many i think). So i'm standing on a chair to reach all this. And I have chase standing next to me with a 3 foot piece of wood with these instructions. "if i touch that wire, and I'm getting shocked, I need you to swing that at me hard enough to knock me off this chair. you got that?" I think he was torn between pure fear at holding this responsibility and pure fascination at the possibility of knocking me off a chair with a stick.  Harrison was simply horrified. I touched the wire. It was dead. I sent the kids on their merry way. I consider this also a successful teaching moment. But that is another blog.

The install, in total took less than an hour. And they look awesome. Here is a bad picture of them. Trust me. They look good and are practically straight.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

mutterings and nonsensicals.

my computer says nonsensicals isnt a word. but its a pc so what does it know? (probably that its not a word. oooh wellllll)

so tonight the boys and i are watching the season opener (that's not right. the..  the..., hell the first new episode of the season. whatever) of Raising Hope (which is just a damn funny show) and Jimmy and Sabrina get engaged. And because I'm a blasted sucker for that crap, I get all Awwwww. And Immediately think, "well that wont last".  How can someone be so cynical and such a hopeless sap at the same time?

i spend a lot of time, too  much time trying to break things down. i've really been trying to NOT do too much of that since the break up because, really, nothing can be UNDONE now. its done. but you have to LEARN something from it dont you? learn where you turned left when you should have gone right. so maybe next time, if you are brave enough for a next time, maybe you do things differently?

i was in a relationship for 5 years. there is a certain expectation that after you date someone for a certain period of time, that you think, you know, I'd like to do this for a long time. I'd like to by an appliance with this person. maybe get a cat.

 when i was younger, when i was YOUNG, we kind of took it in steps. we purchased a fan. and then a chair. i mean the chair was a recliner and required credit. that was a pretty big commitment. then we got a cat. and after living together for a year, and acquiring a fan, a chair and a cat in one year, while laying around hung over one sunday I said "you know. dont you think we should just get married?" and my hungover boyfriend said "sure". so we went to the mall and picked out the most expensive ring we could put on our credit card ($300.00!), and voila! engaged. (ok, at some point i think he got down on one knee in front of our apartment and mumbled something at me, it was a long time ago, its pretty vague). And 6 or so months later we were married. (no, i wasnt pregnant, i was having so many anxiety attacks me moved the wedding UP, brilliant move. anxiety attacks dont mean ANYTHING IS WRONG HERE)

so fast forward 3 kids and 12 years later. ew. no,i want to skip that part, thats a terrible part and lets just sail on another 4 or so. or 6. yeah 6.

so i'm two years into my last relationship and sparing you the details, there was some talk of getting married. a few "man i fucking love you, will you marry me?" moments. moments you cant take seriously because of the location and the time and maybe the beers, but they sit in your brain and you wonder "can i do that again?" and part of you thinks "YES YES YES. ask me in a real way. ask me in the most charming and sweet way, let me believe that you MEAN IT. and that it might last. let me believe in this again . .. " and part of you is having an anxiety attack.

well life zigged. or he ziggged and three years later it was pretty fucking clear we were never even going to buy a fan.

but i really wanted to spend the rest of my life sitting next to that person. he just couldnt see sitting next to me.

so whats next. dating. good god. i dont date. i think i have gone on . . . less than a dozen dates in the almost 11 years i've been not doing the marriage thing. i meet people. its the digital age. i could meet new people every day if i wanted. i have friends. i spend time doing fun things. i have laughs. and i wonder, do i want to fuck that up just so i can get 1, 2, 5, 10 years down the road and go "huh. well this isnt working". because the recovery period SUCKS.

well yeah, i do. cause i'm a relationship girl. i always have been.

but its terrifying. its terrifying to have so much as a shred of hope of being swept off your feet. most of the time you are just hoping to be happy and not get screwed over. once upon a time i thought i could re-create a family in my home. the whole, mom, dad, kids. even if it was mom, step dad, kid kid kid kid kid. I've been running my own home since 2002. Just the thought of sharing is overwhelming. I want it. I cant SEE it.

i write this because i have a lot of single friends. some with kids. some without. and we talk. a little. we dont talk too much. about what we want, what we are afraid of. we joke. we put our chins up. are we are good, solid people who are getting on, getting on. what else can you do? not a damn thing.

something will turn up. turn down, round the bend. show up. just not being able to see it. its just scary, and frustrating  and sometimes damn lonely.

but mostly its ok. and i dont say that because i want to end the blog on some fucking cherry note. it just is, mostly ok. right now. its ok. im surrounded by awesome people. and i enjoy every bit of that i can.

I cant help but think how much easier it was at 19. buying a fan. a chair. and getting a cat, and having it seem like getting married was of course, the next best step.