Saturday, March 24, 2012


**this is from my accident in Jan . . . .***

you know i'm rattled when i dont take a picture and post to facebook.

so, i got in this wreck today. and it sucked. i learned some things tho, about myself. a). im not sure i wreck well and i really thought i would. i saw that the suv was not stopping, i double checked my light, and i hit the brakes and for all intents and purposes, i closed my eyes and yelled FUCK. In reality, this may not be the case, but in my memory, until my tire hit that curb, thats all i got.
b). i'm one calm ass mother fucker. i do not like people to see me cry. i wanted to cry. that was scary! but that bull head side kicked in HARD. the cops kept asking me questions and what i really wanted to say was "my fucking bell just got rung man, give me a minute, and maybe a cocktail?"  But i gave them my license, called my agent. handled it.

I"m thankful for the people on site. the witness to the woman who hit me, who ran the light. the woman from the church who helped me focus so i could grab my dog food out of my truck.

despite, being very calm and "i got it" y.  i resented very much having no one to call. to say "hey, i got in a wreck, and i'm ok" and have the other person be ever so thankful. yes, i have lots of friends who are glad i wasnt hurt. yes, my ex husband was very supportive, as were all my friends. but the aloneness of that moment.... that stung.

there has to be a lesson in getting dumped, and wrecked in a two week time period.
that. im still trying to figure.


  1. :( Miss you. I wish I was closer. I know it doesn't really help how you feel... telling you it will get better does not help either...

    All I can say is that I care about you, I respect you, and I admire the way you charge through the pain and keep on going. *Hugs*

  2. Thanks Jen. This was from back when ruby got wrecked. Finally just posted it. I'm hanging in, doing well actually. You know. Good days bad days. Love you guys and miss you. And I know know matter where I am, you got my back. :).