Wednesday, January 18, 2012


on my chest. holding me down so i cant breath. move him aside. get up. make coffee. pour cereal. drive kids to school. come home.  get in shower. get out of shower. put on make up. try not to cry. think. get angry. get sad. get dressed. drive to work. cry. get to work. fix make up. attempt productivity. get angry. find 7500 things to be mad about. try not to cry. find distractions. breathe.
get off work. go home. make dinner. feel better. nourish children with good healthy meals. look at clock. sigh. interact. clean. why clean. so much time to clean. read. fall asleep sitting up. wake yourself up so maybe tonight you will sleep.
watch mindless tv. fold laundry. be angry. spurt of energy. accomplish task. recaulk tub. paint ceiling. replace that damn broken door knob. be angry. contemplate fixing the fucking sink. sigh. too much.
parent. put kids to bed.
sit on couch. clink ice in glass. zone out. be angry that you know without looking at the clock EXACTLY what time it is.
try and sleep. cry. be indignant. i deserve better.

sleep. wake up. sleep. wake up. elephant sits back on chest.
wake up.
start over.

try to breathe.